


THE ICHA-ICHA IS A WHAT!?

by soulofdarkandlight



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Humor, Icha Icha is a hero, Jiraiya superspy, Kakashi not pervert, Naruto brain damage, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Pranks, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulofdarkandlight/pseuds/soulofdarkandlight
Summary: A short story on what if the Icha Icha was not what it seemed like.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi & Nara Shikamaru, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Jiraiya & Hatake Kakashi, Jiraiya & Nara Shikamaru, Jiraiya & Uzumaki Naruto, Nara Shikamaru & Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like the story and don't forget to comment, leave a kudos and check out my other fanfictions

The war was over and Naruto was glad for it. Madara and Kaguya had been extremely annoying not to mention he had to fight with his 'best friend' Sasuke to become Hokage and to get him back on his side.

Naruto sighed, still today was the day he was going to be named Hokage. Naruto mourned the loss of Neji and wished that Obito could have been alive too. He snapped out of his thoughts after hearing his name being called by the sixth Hokage, Kakashi.

* * *

Kakashi groaned while Naruto smirked, "You couldn't have told me about this before?" Kakashi asked annoyed.

"What, I thought that at least one of you Hokage should have known about this," Naruto replied.

"Well obviously we didn't," Replied Kakashi menacingly watching 15 of Naruto's clones doing the paperwork.

Naruto just grinned, "You know you don't have to watch me, I used to stay here with Jiji a lot, I will have no problems.

"Well it's either this or avoiding Guy."

Naruto nodded in understanding. There was a knock on the door "Come in," Naruto ordered.

Several of the Jounin entered, "Hokage-sama congratulations!"

Naruto nodded, "Thanks but don't call me Hokage-sama, ya know, just Naruto is fine."

"Well anyway... Naruto we have gotten you a gift for you." Shikamaru announced stepping in front, "We know, Jiraiya-sama was important to you, so it's something of his, although it may be a bit outdated." Shikamaru added before handing him a set of books wrapped in a golden cover.

Naruto twitched reading the book's name, "Well we best be going..." A jounin announced as several others left feeling the tension. Shikamaru, however being a Nara was unfortunately slow.

"What the hell is this, Shikamaru? I expected this from Ebisu sensei or Kakashi sensei but you too?" Naruto asked holding out the limited edition Icha Icha set.

"What do you mean idio... oh right!" Shikamaru smacked himself, "You were never a Jounin so you wouldn't know."

"Huh?" Naruto asked questioningly.

"Man this is going to be troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled to himself, "Where should I start..."

Don't worry Shikamaru, I'll explain it to Naruto, you take a seat."

"Explain what?" Naruto asked dumbly.

Kakashi shook his head at Naruto, "Seiously Naruto you never pay attention do you? All those years you spent with Jiraiya and you didn't notice it."

"Notice what?"

"Well you used to proofread the Icha Icha right?"

Naruto nodded grimly, "Yeah, it was disgusting."

"No it was ingenious." Seeing Naruto about to interrupt him, Kakashi held up a hand and cut him off, "Not ingenious in that way. You know of Jiraiya Sama's spy network, yes?"

Naruto nodded.

"Well that book is," Kakashi added pointing to the Icha Icha in Naruto's hands, "nearly everything Jiraiya knew from his spy network coded in such a way that only any Konoha ninja above Jounin are taught to decipher. In other words, it's a spy book although quite outdated by now, like Shikamaru said."

Naruto didn't say anything but just simply stated dumbfounded.

"Are you alright, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked worryingly.

Naruto simply turned to face the two of them and made the most intelligent answer he could think of,

"THE ICHA-ICHA IS A WHAT!?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto being Naruto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My idiotic brain accidentally updated the same chapter twice and didn't realize it. A huge thanks to ShadowPhoenix16 for pointing it out. Hope you like the actual chapter 2

"Well it's your fault for being so stupid, Jiraiya Sama even gave his manuscript to you so that you could find the code," Shikamaru said, "Either that or he really wanted his 'excellent' piece of literature to be good and was sure you wouldn't be able to crack the code."

Naruto twitched hearing Shikamaru and simply glared at him.

"I wonder how you cracked the code on Fukasaku's back from Jiraiya." Kakashi mused.

Repressing his tears at the memory of his dead sensei, Naruto simply sighed, "Well can you teach me how to decipher the codes?"

Kakashi nodded, "Sure. Ok, first each of the books contains info about a particular village only in the form of the main character. For example, in the Iwa book, the main character is Awi which is basically Iwa jumbled up. Kumo is Omuk etc."

Naruto nodded while thinking how he could have missed that but then again puzzled were never his strongest suit.

"Now every two pages, the first word and the last word acts like content and show you where the information is... like here? Kakashi said holding out his own copy of the Icha Icha open.

"First-word Awase who was one of Jiraiya Sama's informants, the last word is tavern, which show where we can find him. Furthermore, the page numbers are written with a special ink that forms a different number when Chakra is channeled through, for example, on this page, the real page number is 19 which means we can find out more about Awase on this page."

Naruto nodded and spent his entire day trying to memorize the codes.

_The next day_

"I hate you Shikamaru," Naruto complained.

Shikamaru smirked seeing Naruto's beaten-up state. He had conveniently forgotten that Hinata technically hadn't been promoted to Jounin so didn't know about the Icha Icha code either which is why Naruto had been beaten up to an inch of his life when Hinata had seen the perverse books before Naruto could explain.

"You didn't help me even though I screamed!" Naruto glared at Shikamaru.

"Eh, you know my saying, Women are too troublesome."

Naruto kept on glaring venomously at Shikamaru.

"Why couldn't have ero Sennin told me about Icha Icha being a storehouse of his spying information before, now I have to figure out who's an actual pervert and who's not."

Shikamaru cleared his throat, "Um, Naruto..."

"What?" he asked back before noticing all the chunin, Iruka included staring at him in surprise, "Oh right you guys shouldn't know right."

Shikamaru facepalmed while Kakashi glared at Naruto for letting out a potential A rank secret.

Naruto started sweating from Kakashi's glare, "Ah, forget what I said," Naruto tried to save the situation hastily but it was no use as the collective chunin's voice rang out,

"THE ICHA ICHA IS A WHAT!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of the story. A bit anti-climatic, I know. If you want me to continue this though, please say so.

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it for this chapter, I will post a second to explain things a bit more but that's for later. Hope you enjoyed and please leave a kudos, comment and check out my other fanfics.


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